When Critics attack!!

Not everyone is going to believe in you. The word is full of cynical people who will make assumptions, and even go so far as creating lies to justify their own rationalisation of their views on your choices. We see it in the media all the time, and it happens in everyday life too. Artists quite often find themselves in the critic's aim, both professionally and personally. Even the kindest and most generous and selfless people have raging critics. It feels pretty sad when people can't take you simply as the person you strive to be, but rather paint you out to be something else, because of jealousy, misinformation, or because they haven't bothered to take the time to actually learn the truth. So, how can you deal with the critic?

You have a choice
Reminding yourself that you have a choice in how you deal with someone is a step in the right direction. Sure, there's nothing you can do to stop someone from thinking a certain way, or saying certain things, but you can choose your own response. It's sometimes easy to lose sight that we do still have choices when something out of our control has transpired. Often, the first reaction is to feel that something has "happened to me" and "what do i do?"

To do or not to do
Some situations require immediate action, but if you can afford yourself some time to decide how or even IF you choose to respond, you can be doing yourself an immense favour. Ask yourself if it's really worth responding, and also what the likely outcomes would be if you do. Let's face it, as hurtful as it can be, some people just aren't interested in the truth, nor your point of view. Is it actually worth the effort to set things straight if they are brandishing negative and sometimes even crushing idioms? Sometimes it is, sometimes maybe not. Time can help bring clarity to you. Whilst it might feel good to lash out immediately and defend yourselves, sometimes the best thing you can do for YOU is to simply calm down, take a moment, and think clearly.

And what if you do nothing? Ignoring someones ignorance can be very difficult, but it's a choice that you have. You can choose to not read their criticism, not stand and listen to their rants, nor not have them as part of the circle of people in your life. In reality, people can be misunderstood and assumptions made, and and not everyone has the patience or indeed the foresight to take the time to find out for themselves. Sometimes the record needs to be set straight, sometimes walking away will bring you more long-term gains, and sometimes it's a little bit of both.

Everything is OK
You can't stop people from jumping to their own conclusions, but is it really your business to set them straight? At the end of the day, does it really matter? There are times when it does, and times when it doesn't, but you always have a choice in your own response to criticism. Keep reminding yourself that you do have a choice. It's empowering to know that we have that, even in the face of adversity.

As my husband says, "what someone else has to say about me is none of my business".
I say "Hear, hear!"
:)

I

Homus Interuptus

I love working from home.
I love it because i have small children, and it means i can fulfil my role as a mother and a musician simultaneously. Yes, it does mean a lot of juggling, some rule-setting (for the kids AND for me), and i've had to organise a dedicated space from which to work, but i like it! What i don't like are interruptions...not from the kids (because that's just the way things are with young children), but from people who don't seem to understand that you WORK from home.

The time that i can actually dedicate to working is very precious, as it's been negotiated through the maze of  motherly commitments, timetables, cooking, cleaning, clients, customers....you see, dedicated work time is often literally a case of QUICK! i can probably do an hours' work now that the kids are settled into some playtime, and there's a slim possibility they may just stay occupied during this window. Yes, i put motherhood before all else, so "time" is a complicated thing.

But some people like to just call past and "drop in" when i'm in the middle of something. This is very inconvenient, particularly when i'm recording, or in the middle of a difficult edit. Every artist knows that creativity itself can be a fragile thing, and there are many times when i have to cram my artistry into a few minutes. It's not that i don't want to see people, but i do think it's highly unlikely that a friend would just drop in to see me for a chat if i worked in an office for someone else. But because i'm "at home"...do i have a target on my back?

So i have made some rules, and set some boundaries. Firstly, if i don't want to be interrupted, i just wont answer the door. This has literally taken me years to feel ok about it. Sometimes, when i hear that knock or that doorbell, i feel like someone is DEMANDING i drop everything and act RIGHT NOW! I also remind my friends to call me before they visit. Some need a LOT of reminding. The children also now understand that just because someone's at the door, doesn't mean it's going to be answered. Boundaries are important. They help things run a little smoother.

So, if you're like me, trying to keep lots of balls in the air, let yourself off the hook. And if you have friends who are working like me, just pick up the phone before you hop in the car.

Partnerships

It's a tough thing being a solo artist, having to rely on your own drive and motivation to get you through some of the darkest times. It can be a lonely occupation, one which can end up having go round and round in circles, it would seem. Whilst i have discovered my own ways to get things happening within myself, it remains a constant natter at my door, turning me inward more often than not, as i find myself getting in the way of myself.

Sharing and Caring
Sharing your journey in a partnership is delicate. The only way it can truly work is if you have a give-and-take relationship. Everyone involved needs to be flexible and compassionate, as some things may matter more to one person than the other. Some tasks, (such as the business end of things), can take some negotiating, even in the simplest of terms, such as who is going to do what. It's hard to find a good, long-term relationship of trust, action, and equality. In some ways it's like a good marriage, where people are prepared to flex and grow with the times.

If indeed you are one of the lucky few to find such a gift of partnership, most important of all is communication. In this age of electronic comms, things can get lost in text translation, so keeping things real as often as possible is probably a good idea. If you live or work close by, this can be as simple as having a weekly beer at the pub to chat about the week ahead. If distance separates you, (something more and more common), tools such as SKYPE can keep you in touch face-to-face for free, across the globe.

Who Does What
You usually find that some peeps are good at some things, whilst others are good at other stuff. Working out which stuff comes easily to whom can make a huge difference. For example, if one of you is more comfortable on the phone, then it makes sense to have that person make a lot of the calls. Tech folk should obviously take-on the tech tasks, and writing tasks should fall to the one who is most comfortable with that. This can make a HUGE difference to how you feel about the workload and the peeps involved. If you get stuck on something, see if you can delegate.

The Creative Stuff
Of course the foundation of any good creative partnership is the creative arena, which was probably what drove you together in the first place (though partnerships arrive through all manner of needs). Maintaining a good creative practice will keep you solid on the business end. Momentum is so important. It shapes part of the feeling, and the knowledge that you're working on something that only came about because of a team effort. This is what we fall back on, when all the other business stuff feels too hard. It's what you will keep coming back to, so keep it moving. After all, at the end of the day, it will be what you showcase. No one will see all the 1000s of hours you put in to the website, the opportunities you chased, the arguments you had, and the procrastination you constantly felt at your heals. They will see the art. That's all they will have, so make it good.

MuscularRose aka Peter Grigoriadis & Tania Rose

Be Real
The reality is that people also have lives outside of the project. You can't expect people to put the project before all else, even though you yourself may be at times prepared to do so. Most artists also work a day-job for a living, have families, and a social life. High expectations can result in feelings of neglect and frustration, so you need to be realistic. If someone can only put in a few hours after work each week, but you're wanting more from them, you might have to adjust your thinking to save you from self-inflicted pain. Likewise, not everyone is going to be able to answer emails and messages straight away, even though to you it might feel urgent. Patience and understanding are two of the most fundamental assets you can have, as you'll be doing everyone a big favour.

Results
We all want results, but everyone has different expectations. If you communicate your very least expectations to each other, things might be easier in the long run. For example, if you are working towards an exhibition or an album release, then having your art on gallery walls or a box of freshly pressed CDs in your hand might be a wonderful and realistic goal. Selling your art might be a secondary goal, one which you work towards. If the whole basis to your partnership is based on making lots of money, you may be in for a rough ride. Expectations of this kind of outcome are pretty freaky, and can become highly stressful and intense. Not to say that you cant have this goal, but if you look at things in a stage-by-stage manner, you'll have a much more enjoyable ride.

People
Partnerships are people. This must never be forgotten. No matter how far you've come, what you have done, or what didn't happen, it's all about the personal journey. We are feeling, breathing, human people, so a partnership is all about that. It's a shared journey of a meeting of souls, a walk down the same path, a place where we meet, evolve and nurture each other. Sharing this journey, and taking a path you wouldn't take on your own, can be one of the most extraordinary and precious things you do. With the right people, you can create lifelong working relationships, deep friendships, and and understanding that goes beyond words.

Above All Else
Treasure these things for what they are. People come together for many reasons, and often out-of-the-blue. They are gifts, special chapters in our lives, taking us to new places within ourselves, and providing us with new opportunities of growth and exploration. If we learn from them, we can only become better human beings.

:)

When Up Goes Down

The see-saw of having a creative vocation is a never-ending cycle. Inspiration soars, and then just as quickly disappears. Opportunity knocks, and then suddenly becomes silent. Our world revolves around the unpredictable ups and downs; income instability, creative surges and blocks, successes and failures.

One of the most valuable lessons for anyone in a creative vocation to learn, is that these peaks and troughs are a normal part of the game. What's important is to hold on to the knowledge that the down will end, and the upswing will come. Not by sitting back and doing nothing, but by continuing with a sense of momentum. Sometimes this momentum draws us into new enterprises and new ideas, which can then lead to new inspiration and new opportunities.

When you're in a downward swing, remind yourself that you've been here before, and that there is an upswing ahead. Do whatever you need to do in the meantime...re-evaluate your projects, do some housework, catch up on some admin, send stuff to people, reconnect with previous contacts, make new contacts. Sometimes simply doing something completely different helps, with an ultimate distraction which can get things flowing again. The important thing is to not stand still. Pausing is healthy, but doing nothing at all besides wallowing will only feed negativity.

Remember the law...for every action, there is a reaction.

When Opportunity Knocks

I'm a big believer in creating your own opportunities instead of waiting around for someone else to make an offer, but there are those rare times when opportunity does seem to knock of it's own accord. Then what?

It's never easy to know what the "right" thing to do is. In my world, this is because i don't believe there is a "right" way, only a series of choices that lead us to other choices...endless forks in the road. We all do, however, want the choices we make to lead us to realities which improve our circumstances, and create more opportunities, so when something wonderful comes along, realistically the choice would be obvious...to take that ball and run with it! Right? Well....

The problem comes down to self preservation. You see, most opportunities contain some kind of risk element to them. One of the most obvious risks is the one which involves drawing attention to ourselves, which can bring up all kinds of self conscious traits. Do I really want to do that? I mean, come on! If i expose myself, people might just see that i'm not some genius, i'm a total nerd, and even worse than that...someone might just ask me to do something that I've never done before, which i might FAIL!! FAR TOO RISKY!!

The truth is that we all do things that we have never done before in order to try new things we have never done before. We once took our first footsteps, which led us to walk, which led us to run, which led us to ride. You weren't born knowing how to operate a computer, or drive a car, or cook a meal...you had to try it first in order to find your way. In your career, this is no different.

So, when opportunity comes knocking, and surprises you with it's generosity, don't slam the door and run and hide under the bed. It's what you  actually wanted anyway. Just be careful what you wish for...

Different and The Same

I had some feedback from a customer today, who bought 4 CDs, then followed it up with the Feather's Breath CD. Their comment was "the music is all the same music on all the CDs". Well, of course that's not true. Sure, like most artists, i don't deny that much of my music has my trademark sound. But Feather's Breath in itself has no electronic sounds on it AT ALL, is all voice and flutes, and is quite a diversion from my other recordings. But i got to thinking, maybe they're right. Maybe all of my music is the same.

I don't think that's a bad thing. In fact, i have also been critisised by some fans who dislike anything which isn't like my first release, the "Coral sea Dreaming" soundtrack. So what can i do with all of this feedback? I know you can't please all of the people all of the time, and there's always going to be someone who has a strong opinion on which music is better than another, but where do i file this in my head?

The fact is, i really have very little choice in what comes out of me. Yeah, i might start off with some kind of concept, or an idea, but when it comes to the guts of creating music, it all just evolves out of where i'm at at the time. Sometimes that's in familiar territory, sometimes in unchartered waters, but it all has one thing in common...it comes from me.

I was looking at an older painting done by the very talented artist Karin Taylor this morning, and i knew it was hers just by looking at it. It's very different from her current work, some 8 years later, but there's a familiarity about it that i recognise. I'm sure i could analyse it to find the elements that make it familiar, but it comes from her, so it is a part of her. In fact i'm glad there is a familiarity to it. It made me immediately warm to the painting, because i enjoy her work.

So, I'm comfortable for some people to find my music similar, and happy also for other people to find my music somewhat eclectic. It's going to be very interesting to hear what others have to say when i begin releasing music in completely different genres. I'm sure, like anything, there will be those who'll be very supportive, and those who'll be critical, but one thing is for sure. It's all a part of who I am, and what i create.

What is Success?

The topic of success comes up time and again for artists. Everyone seems to have an opinion as to how successful you are, which things are more successful than others, and how much success is enough. But what is SUCCESS? Is it merely the freedom to allow yourself to practice your art?

I think we all agree that there are several sides to being successful. The public side (which doesn't reflect how clever, talented, or wonderful you are) is about media accolades more than anything else, at least in our contemporary world. It's about being popular more than anything, and to some, being popular and well-known is a form of success. People who are not artists often view this as a fundamental perception of success. If you make it to a prime time TV show, you finally have success. For an artists, it can be frustrating for Auntie Flo to belittle your work because you "haven't been on TV yet, not like so-and-so". It's important to keep in mind that being famous isn't being successful, and though many people believe otherwise, this is just a marketing and media ploy to manipulate the public to only take seriously what they control.

Let's take it back a bit and get a bit more personal with the artist. Sometimes works take months, even years to complete. Heart and soul, sweat and tears can be poured into a work of art, often in an isolated environment, where there is a whole introspective monologue going on inside the artists head. The fact that one can complete an artwork is a HUGE success. With so much complexity the artist has in their lives, it's an extraordinary thing, which deserves every accolade.

Making something public can be difficult, but many artists eventually find a way, and the stage is set for a "successful" public perusal, which often includes critiques or reviews of ones work. A bad review? A scathing attack? Do these quash success? No. Let me tell you something about critics and reviewers; they embellish, they create their own story, they are nothing more than a member of the public with a single personal opinion which they must justify in order to satisfy their own audience. A review is rarely about the art, but unfortunately often about the art critic, more's the pity.

What about money? Well, financial success is more about business than art. It really doesn't reflect whether or not something is successful. It's about finding a paying public in a small niche' market. It's about running a business effectively where your customer comes first, providing art specifically for them, and constantly evaluating supply and demand. Sure, an artist can make a squillion dollars, but it doesn't make them successful artists. They have just run or had access to a successful business.

So what is success? Success is really in the eyes of the beholder. If i've managed to get through some of my tasks for the day, i consider i've had a successful day. If i've sold 1 or 10 or even 100 CDs in a day, i consider it a successful day. If i have written a snippet of a new piece of music, had an inspiring thought, made a decision, done a good deed for the day, my day has been a success. I consider myself a successful person, not because i've been on prime time TV, or had great reviews, or sell my works, but because i live a successful life. Isn't that real success?

My Work, My Nakendness

Songwriters sometimes describe performing their songs on stage as akin to standing in front of a crowd, stark naked. When you've created something it can be like that...like you're revealing yourself, exposing all your vulnerabilities, all your weaknesses, your secret desires, and your pain.

Sometimes this is because it's out of those things that our art is created. There are times when our pain gives birth to inspiration, or our vulnerability makes way for an expression of inner strength. But there is also the secrets, the stuff that is unconscious. The knowledge that someone might interpret our work and expose something we didn't even know about ourselves. Like the painter who creates random abstract paintings, only to discover that viewers see more than was intended.

The fear of revealing oneself is something the creative mind deals with every time they show their work to a friend, a family member, or an audience. In fact, the fear of one can far outweigh the fear of the many. I remember feeling extremely uncomfortable with revealing my music to my family more than to a venue full of people. And the individuals i chose to show my works to were selected not only with great deliberation, but also via their placement in time. Sometimes there would be only a window of a couple of days where i was willing to share, and if the right person wasn't around to listen...

But it's not just the uncomfortableness of oneself. Creative people are often extremely sensitive to the feelings of others. So imagine sharing something with someone, but not wanting to put them on the spot in any way that would make them awkward to offer any kind of feedback. This is something often overlooked. Artists generally want honesty. Of course they don't want to be hurt, but they don't want to hear Uncle John say "hey, i like that" just because he might feel he's expected to say that. They don't want pandering, though they do want encouragement. It can get complicated.

My mother is my biggest critic. I know that she loves that i write music, but she is careful not to show too much enthusiasm. This i sometimes interpret as indifference, which i used to find very challenging. She is honest with her own taste in music, telling me in no uncertain terms when she can't stand to listen to one of my pieces, or when it's "alright, i guess". It's complicated because she is my mother, and i want her to show a mountain of pride, and lashings of support, but i admire her honesty. She will tell me straight out that the CD artwork is completely the wrong colour for the music and that she finds a sound irritating, but i lean on the knowledge that she is trying to be helpful and truthful, and not mollycoddle me, and as such i only show her pieces that are near completion. Because i know that the complicatedness of our relationship will become too great an influence, and i would find myself changing things to suit her and not myself.

Art is from the heart, whether it's an awareness or a subconscious influence. It's endless possibilities make it a difficult birth process at times. Revealing oneself confidently, warts and all, doesn't come with the job. It's because of our vulnerability that we can create, so to reveal ourselves takes practice, patience, and a lot of gritting of teeth. It's a skill that must be learnt, like on-the-job-training. It's the hardest thing, yet is imperative if we are to share our talents. It's bracing for impact, crumpling in an emotional heap, lashing out with bitterness and anger, cowering with angst and uncertainly, putting on armour and challenging any opponent. It's all of this and more.

We are what we are, and we do what we do. We're not really eccentric. Just creative minds, with a need to explore.

One Step Further...

Sooner or later you come to a crossroads. You've created all of this fantastic music/art/groovy-stuff, and you get to a point where you have to take a plunge to move forward. It's a first. Your first CD, exhibition, book, sale...whatever it is, it's filled with as much terror as it is excitement.

We live in an era where we can't make up the excuses we used to. Anything is possible. We generally have access to the tools to make this project happen, but it's fraught with the pain of "what if". What if it doesn't sell, what if i get bad reviews, what if I'm rejected? But here's the thing...nothing in this world is guaranteed. There is no water-tight solution for success.

And what is success? I measure success in the ability to create something out of nothing, regardless of whether hoards of people come flocking. How many times have you heard of artists struggling all their lives, only to be recognised after their deaths because of their extraordinary contribution to the world culture? How many films have been dismally received only to become cult icons decades later? And how many cds have had no airplay, yet warm the hearts of a few? I told myself at the beginning of my career that if i could touch the heart of one human being, and move them to make a change for the better, my work was done. Then i read my first fan letter, a stranger whom i didn't know changed his life because he was inspired. I was moved so deeply that my heart cried, and i made an oath to myself that my work had only just begun.

I remember the angst of creating my first independent release. The decision seemed agonising, but i knew it had to be done. I owed it to my children, to lead by example, and i had always believed that being a closet artist was a selfish occupation. Being creative doesn't come easy to many, so the rest of us have an obligation to share what we do with humanity. I lent on that idea every step of the way. I had to learn how to keep myself out of the way.

My first boxes of CDs sat in a cupboard for many moons. I had no idea what to do next, so for a long while i did almost nothing. Then i decided there was nothing to lose, and thought that even giving them away had to be better than taking up space in my office. I gave myself a hard time. I struggled with the "what if"s, but i was stubborn enough to not give up.

Things are a bit different now. Not because all i touch turns to gold, but because i have a method...a process. I'm experienced now, so the fear is assuaged. I still wonder about failure, but each time i release something new, i remind myself that the only failure is to do nothing. If i end up getting stuck with a few boxes full of CDs, well hey!! So what! I'll always have a gift to give to a stranger. And what better gift to give is there that a part of yourself.

Artist or Fraud?

During the early days of my career (which i identify as being during my early 20's), i was just starting to find the courage to label myself a composer. This was a huge step for me psychologically because although i was working as a professional musician, writing music for film and dance projects and performing regularly, i lived in this fear than sooner-or-later i was going to be caught-out as a fraud!

It's a big word, FRAUD. It has all kinds of connotations with it, and the whole concept has a dirty vibe to it. That's what i felt. Like my dirty secret would eventually get out, and I'd be exposed as nothing more than a pretender, a fake, a low-life wanna-be. Pretty intense, hey. Yet people were paying me good money to write and perform music, i was getting great reviews, the projects i was working on received world-wide acclaim, there were awards and interviews....how was this possible if i was faking it?

So intense were my feelings, that i began to ask a few close artist friends whom i had the greatest creative respect for, "do you ever feel like you're a fake?". Unexpectedly they ALL said yes, each one of them reacting to the question with a sense of relief that they could finally talk about it. I discovered that not only was i not alone in my own feelings, but that this mindset was prevalent in creative vocations. There is an unspoken fear that eventually the artist will be sprung, and they would be forced back to the depths where they belong. Most surprising of all was my discovery that the more talented the artist, the deeper those feelings appeared to run.

Begs the question "why", doesn't it. Well, i can only answer this by drawing from what others have shared with me, and through my own experiences. So here's my theory...

"Talented" artists (we'll leave the discussion of what talent is for another time), often start out in a less traditional way. For example, I'm a self-taught musician, only taking lessons in music to sharpen up my skills and perceptions of my art form as a young adult. This leaves the door wide open to feel less validated and uncredited. Also, music to me comes so naturally...practically effortless. It's so enjoyable, it feels like there is no work involved in it, because most people class work as being something that one has to strive over and struggle with. Music also exposes a passion in me, one that is self-perpetuating...the more music I'm making, the more music i feel inspired to make. Plus, making music kinda gives me a high. All in all, it's such an enjoyable and easy process, fun and passion-invoking, that i feel like i must be cheating somehow.

I remember feeling this way when i used to improvise song arrangements on the piano as a kid to pop songs. I'd listen to a song a few times, and that was all I'd need. My friends would often need a few weeks working on it, but i seemed to already know it. I'd also just start singing harmonies to songs i barely knew...and knew no one else who could do that. i must have been cheating. I felt like i was, because i seemed to already know the answers. It makes perfect logical sense, except that of course there was no cheating involved, and no fraud...there was no deception.

It's about time that we as a society accepted that work doesn't need to be soul-destroying in order for it to be valid. We don't need to hate our jobs, our boss, and ourselves in order to show we work hard, and only then deserve some kind of return. And what is that term "working hard" all about anyway? Isn't "working well" a better description? Surely being effective is better than being hard. And if something comes naturally, isn't that a good thing? So many fantastic artists i have seen don't market themselves, believing their work can only be a hobby because it's something they love to do. DOH??!!

If reading this has struck a truth in you, then chances are that you have something you do that comes naturally and easily to you. It's called talent, not fraud. It's real, and humanity need you to share it, not keep it locked up in your closet. If you need to share how you feel, let it out now, don't wait 'til you're on your death-bed with a suitcase full of regrets. It's perfectly natural to feel this way, but don't let it ruin your journey.

Embrace your potential.
Express yourself.
Expose that which comes easy...because for so many other people, what you do takes hard work.
Your natural abilities are more valuable than any certificate you could ever get in your life...EVER!!

Fear & Excitement: same?

Performers, like myself, spend a lot of time in potentially nervous situations. Standing in front of a crowd who hang on everything you deliver is pretty intense, and in the studio you have an extremely short time slot to come up with some kind of magical essence that will move people. Those who perceive this as a positive experience can do it over and over again. Those who see it negatively will most likely crash and burn (as many creative people do). The pressure can be immense, but there is one simple thing that can make all the difference to anyone who finds themselves in a nervous situation...the perception of fear and excitement.

Your heart races, you feel butterflies flapping wildly in your gut, your breathing intensifies, you feel a sense of heightened sensitivity as your eyes widen and you limbs quiver with anticipation. Fear or excitement? It's both. The only difference between fear and excitement is the way you think about it.

Teaching singers to deal with nervousness is something i really enjoy, because i like a good mind challenge. Most of the things that get in our way are to do with how we look at things, ourselves, and situations, and there's a real sense of satisfaction when a performer can break through a hurdle having met the challenge head-on...literally. So lets look at the example of 2 singers waiting for an audition.

Sally is nervous. That's what she's been telling herself all day ("God, I'm sooo nervous. I wish i wasn't nervous. I can't handle this nervousness!"). She sits in the waiting area to be called, wringing her hands, trying to breath in and out like her mum used to tell her before the school play would start as a kid). She's is trying to relax, tries to distract herself from even thinking about her cold hands and her body's shaking by disengaging from the whole idea. "Don't think about it", she tells herself. "Think about other things". She withdraws within herself in an attempt to escape.

Jen is also waiting to be called in. She's been bubbling over most of the day. She was so excited this morning that she went for a short run before she got ready, just to settle herself. She's been thinking about the audition all day, humming out her songs to herself, playing it over in her mind as her butterflies flutter away in her stomach, but she's been telling herself "I'm soooooo excited! This is going to be so great. I'm so lucky to be here!". She didn't believe herself at first, tempted to called it "nerves", but she resisted. In the waiting area she feels the excitement level increasing. She paces the floor, bouncing on the spot every now and then to discharge her adrenaline, and keeps herself focused an in a positive state of mind. Her body is doing the same things that Sally's is, but Jen keeps moving and keeps up her positive mind speak.

The two have totally different experiences with their audition. Sally has spent so much of her time trying to distance herself from thinking about the audition, that she appears disinterested in it. She has been trying to keep her body so still by attempting to relax, that as soon as she goes to sing, her cells fire up from the build-up of chemicals and she loses vocal control. She gets really down on herself and has given up before she's even half-way through. She leaves in tears, gutted by another sense of failure.

Jan bounds in to the room, and her energy is immediately obvious. She's been releasing her adrenaline all day, so she maintains a lot of vocal control. She brings to her audition a sense of excitement and passion, and though she makes mistakes, she keeps positive and moves on, so well in fact that some of the panel don't even notice her errors. She leaves with a feeling of success.

The flight-or-fight response is our body's way of preparing us for engagement. Whether you call it excitement or nervousness, it's the same physical thing. Chemicals get released into our cells to prepare them with optimum power and strength, and are there to save your life. One of the mistakes people make when they have these feelings is to try and calm them down, but our body is geared up for battle, not for meditation.

If you focus instead on releasing the pressure physically (jump up and down, run around the block, etc), and tell yourself over and over how excited you are (even if at first you don't believe it), you can make a huge difference to your experience. You can then learn to USE that amazing zing and turn it into an opportunity to deliver in a way you can't when you're in your comfort zone. Harnessing this energy instead of denying it can turn a good delivery into something quite remarkable.

Are fear and excitement the same? Try it out for yourself, and you be the judge.

Cup Half Full

How i see it, there are 2 ways of looking at things. Either they suck, or they're good. And it's a choice you make, because things don't MAKE you unhappy, you CHOOSE to feel that way. Either you see things as a cup-half-full or a cup-half-empty.

It's not about your nature either. You can teach yourself how to view everything with a positive spin, even if you've been a pessimist all your life. You can teach yourself to tell yourself that it isn't as bad as it could be, it could always be worse, and to take whatever comes as an opportunity to learn, grow, become stronger, teach someone else, etc...

Let's face it, life is a gift. You were lucky to have gotten this far, and millions haven't. You can make the most of it, or wallow away in despair and give up. You can whinge and whine and make yourself feel even worse, or you can believe in the future and turn your situation around.

The cup is filled to same level, no matter how you perceive it, but i can tell you that if it's half full, you'll take great delight in rising to the challenge and turning any weakness into a strength.

Are We There Yet?

People often focus on the destination.
Nothing wrong with that. heading towards a goal helps us to achieve them, it motivates us...keeps us on track.
So what about the journey? What happens when the ONLY thing one focuses on is the destination?

Let's look at the example of the road-trip. You've put a big red dot on the destination, and all roads lead there. You calculate an estimate of the time it will take to get there, gather the means by which you can travel there, and work out a plan to implement the journey.

Things start out fine. That destination is all that you can think about, but it's a long trip, and keeping your eyes glued straight ahead has meant you didn't see some very cool scenery soon after you started. Oh, well. The sooner you can get there, the better, so cool views aren't really relevant anyway. The next day you set out on the second leg of the journey, and work out that if you don't make that lunchtime pit-stop, you just might shave half-an-hour off your journey. The pit-stop would have been great, because you could have relaxed, perhaps made a new friend, or even been part of some kind of great story, but your focus is all on the end result.

This goes on for another week before you finally arrive. But you've arrived worn-out, bitter about your crap journey, tired because of no down-time, frustrated with the little things like roadworks which got in your way, and you just feel like shit. Following your recovery, you begin to feel a bit jaded, because you poured so much energy and effort and frustration into getting here, and everyone seems oblivious to your efforts. This place was such a castle-in-the-sky in your mind, but in reality it's just another place...another starting point.

Your friend makes the same trip, and is excited about her destination, but she takes her time, meets people and sees places along the way. She takes it easy on the road and arrives with a myriad of stories about her trip, laughs about how long it took (twice as long as you), and takes a little time to reflect before happily exploring this new place.

Focusing on the end result only might get you there faster, but how much will you miss along the way? Is it worth losing your happiness over? Might you be so headstrong about the destination that you miss other opportunities? And if your destination itself is a state of happiness, wouldn't it be easier to simply enjoy life's journey?

Goals are great, and there's nothing like the feeling of achieving them, but if the journey sux, there's not much chance that you'll truly be able to indulge in the joy of arriving there. And once you get there, there's another goal ahead....or is that a journey? :)

Trading Places

Switching out of your own perspective and sliding into someone else's shoes can be a very healthy thing to do. Whether you trade your perspective with your fans, fellow artists, or someone you are having a robust debate with, it's helpful from all sides if you can play the role of empath. After all most of us are seeking to fulfil our needs, and often, whether by chance or planning, WE suddenly arrive in a position to fulfill those needs.

Fans may want inspiration from us to use in their own lives. They might hope for contact, understanding, or simply acknowledgement. The same can be said for most of the people who we have contact with. It's human nature to want confirmation that we exist, that there is meaning in our existence, and that we have a role to play within our own lives.

Even in a heated argument, each side may in fact be more needful of acknowledgement than being told they are right. Passionate exchange is as much about the exploration of ourselves as it is about being validated. It's common for us to say things and take strong positions on topics which we hadn't really thought-out before, because oftentimes it's the argument itself which helps us dig deep and discover for ourselves how we feel and what we believe. It's not all that difficult to acknowledge someone without sacrificing your own view on the matter, simply through the act of stepping into their shoes and trying to see things from their perspective.

For the artist, exploring a work from the viewer's or listener's perspective can help us step back from our work. This is very important on the business end of the Arts, being paid to accomplish a specific task. This doesn't mean "selling out" or jeopardising the creative integrity of a work, but merely offers an opportunity to explore other possibilities. Another person will NEVER see the creative work in the same way as the artist.

Try it. You might be surprised how interesting it can be :)

It's nice to be nice to the nice :)

There's been a lot of talk recently about big business learning from small business, and for years there's been a quiet evolution going on. Now that the shit has hit the fan, and big businesses are tumbling like dominos, many are sprouting about the "new way" to do business. But is it new, and is it radical?

Since 1996 i have been running my own micro business, and have kept to a few basic principals. I treat customers and clients with personal respect, and give them a say in their dealings with me. It's not difficult, in fact it's very gratifying. It's also not new. Village businesses for thousands of years have been trading in this way focusing on the person rather than "the deal". It's a trade. Someone needs/wants something that they can't make or provide for themselves, so they seek out a source. It's about an energy exchange, and sometimes it comes in the form of a swap of product or services, or more often an exchange of money.

And what is money anyway? If I keep chickens and have too many eggs than i can eat, i might swap some each week with my neighbour, who plants excess vegitables to exchange with me and others. Now we both have eggs and vegies. No money needed, just pre-planning. But the honey man doesn't need eggs or vegies, but i need honey. So i give him cash so he can swap that for something he does need, that i can't provide for him. So money is a way of exchanging an equivelent value of something which cannot be bartered. This simple perception of money is no different today. It's the spending of virtual money (credit) which makes things complicated and unstable.

I sell a lot of Tania Rose CDs via online auctions. In this way customers get to choose the value of the CD for themselves. A cd to one person might be worth far more than it is to another, so a customer can have a say, and only buy at the price that suits them. I like this feeling of fairness and bartering. It's also about the customer's experience during their purchase too. I like to have fun when i buy, and i think a lot of other people do to, so i like to share that in our communications and service with each customer.

But the feel-good doesn't end there. Once we're all happy with the exchange, and everyone has had a sense of fun, THEN we get to hear from people saying what a pleasure the whole experience was. You can't imagine the joy i feel when i read emails, messages and blogs from people about their possitive experience. Its like icing on the cake. Here's an example from Libby Varcoe

So, doing business with passion and personal detail isn't new. It's the old way to do business, just as if you are trading with your family or neighbour. There should be a feeling of satisfaction on both sides of the fence, and if your not feeling warm and fuzzy, then chances are neither is your customer.