I create mess.
In fact, it's possible the biggest talent i have. That's how good i am at it.
I don't like mess. I don't like living with it, seeing it, or negotiating my way around it, but i'm surrounded by it.
I leave stuff lying around to remind me to do stuff. I leave countless things on my desk, on the floor, in piles, on boxes, in doorways, on benches... each of which is a reminder to attend to something. The problem is that after a while, i just look over it, and dont attend to many of those things at all. Then i get sick of the mess.
I'm also a bit of a hoarder. I hang on to things for many reasons, just like my mother. You see, it might be useful one day, it would be a shame to just throw it away...what a waste. The kids might use that. I'm going to fix that thingamebob one day, and that'll be just the thing. This is encouraged by my strong concerns for the environment, and being mindful of waste. BUT it adds to my mess.
I figure what i really need is a really big white board and keep lists instead of stuff on my desks and benchspaces. I also need some super storage, where i can sort my stuff into some kind of system, and not boxes.
Don't get me wrong. I do have some kind of order, of sorts. All my fabric lives in a fabric cupboard now, and whilst my office and stock room are in the same space, i have no choice but to have SOME kind of order. And i like tidy and neat. When i clean up the space, it begins to feel sacred. It feels new and uncluttered, which makes my head feel fresh. I even have new thoughts, to go with the new space.
Living in a house the size of a shoe box has been challenging, so i'm curious as to how my habits will change when i have space in the near future. But in the meantime, i really do need to make the most of what i have, clean up, and turn my mess into open spaces, where my creativity can be let loose without clambering into a teetering stack of boxes
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