...that's what my friend Clare calls it. I'm refering to the stalling tactics i use on myself to avoid doing the very thing i love doing most of all...writing music.
I can go for weeks doing everything BUT working on my music. There's plenty of distractions...and i tell myself i know what i SHOULD be doing. But i don't go there. I keep promising myself i will, but can always find the perfect avoidance tactic at the perfect moment.
Apparently i'm not alone. It's something that a lot of creative people i know experience. It's an angel-on-the-shoulder experience for some, knowing full well that you would be far more productive getting that project out of your head and started already!
"You need creative tension to release the beast", says Clare. maybe she's right. It's gets to the point where it becomes almost unbearable, and i finally give in. THEN, the rapture! The momentum! Everything just pours out, and i envelop myself in it's bliss. It seems to come from everywhere all at one, and magically spills out of me.
"Maybe if you didn't experience it, you wouldn't have such powerful outpourings," says Clare. Maybe she's right.
So for now, i will just explore it's possibilities. Easy to say that when it's pouring out of you. But i have written this to remind me, and anyone else who needs reminding, that maybe she's right. Maybe it's a good thing after all.