The Pain of ART

I love creating.
I don't care what it is...music, an artwork, a garden...hang, even a chicken coop! There is, however, an element of pain involved, as with all robust births.

It a kind of pain that can't be explained. Not a hurt, per se', but a dull and very persistent ache which closes you off...not just from other people, but also from yourself. Sometimes it precedes a rush of emotion...anger, tears...it's like a madness, where you literally lose it.  (This is a good time to remove yourself from any proximity to innocent bystanders, such as spouses, or friends you'd like to keep).

I don't understand it, and i have noticed it seems to increase with age. It's like the more i know, the more i have to try and cram through the eye of that needle. i sometimes get the urge to rip open my skin to let out whatever-the-hell wants to come out.

Sometimes it gets too hard, and i just want to run and hide, so i try to bury it down deep. Creative people can only do this for so long before they burst.

This is all counterbalanced by the euphoria that goes with creating...this i cant explain. It goes beyond words. It all boils down to the intense experiences that only the artist can know, and that most people who admire the art no virtually nothing of.

Are we all crazy? possibly. It could be that being a creative is actually a symptom of some brain defect they will identify in the future. The fact is that many artists suffer from depression at the very least, so does this go to make them better artists? maybe.Maybe we're all wired for self destruction on the inside whilst we reconstruct on the outside.

I love creating...

Big Things from simple ideas

TWIG BENCH & CUBE by Pinch Design

Great ideas often come from the most simple ideas. Things don't always have to be complicated to make a statement, to be impressive, or to make you think. If you can relate to it in a way you have never thought about before, it can move you to take your own imaginings to new heights.

So next time you have a slightly bent take on something ordinary, indulge yourself and create something wonderful :)

When Up Goes Down

The see-saw of having a creative vocation is a never-ending cycle. Inspiration soars, and then just as quickly disappears. Opportunity knocks, and then suddenly becomes silent. Our world revolves around the unpredictable ups and downs; income instability, creative surges and blocks, successes and failures.

One of the most valuable lessons for anyone in a creative vocation to learn, is that these peaks and troughs are a normal part of the game. What's important is to hold on to the knowledge that the down will end, and the upswing will come. Not by sitting back and doing nothing, but by continuing with a sense of momentum. Sometimes this momentum draws us into new enterprises and new ideas, which can then lead to new inspiration and new opportunities.

When you're in a downward swing, remind yourself that you've been here before, and that there is an upswing ahead. Do whatever you need to do in the meantime...re-evaluate your projects, do some housework, catch up on some admin, send stuff to people, reconnect with previous contacts, make new contacts. Sometimes simply doing something completely different helps, with an ultimate distraction which can get things flowing again. The important thing is to not stand still. Pausing is healthy, but doing nothing at all besides wallowing will only feed negativity.

Remember the law...for every action, there is a reaction.

When Opportunity Knocks

I'm a big believer in creating your own opportunities instead of waiting around for someone else to make an offer, but there are those rare times when opportunity does seem to knock of it's own accord. Then what?

It's never easy to know what the "right" thing to do is. In my world, this is because i don't believe there is a "right" way, only a series of choices that lead us to other choices...endless forks in the road. We all do, however, want the choices we make to lead us to realities which improve our circumstances, and create more opportunities, so when something wonderful comes along, realistically the choice would be obvious...to take that ball and run with it! Right? Well....

The problem comes down to self preservation. You see, most opportunities contain some kind of risk element to them. One of the most obvious risks is the one which involves drawing attention to ourselves, which can bring up all kinds of self conscious traits. Do I really want to do that? I mean, come on! If i expose myself, people might just see that i'm not some genius, i'm a total nerd, and even worse than that...someone might just ask me to do something that I've never done before, which i might FAIL!! FAR TOO RISKY!!

The truth is that we all do things that we have never done before in order to try new things we have never done before. We once took our first footsteps, which led us to walk, which led us to run, which led us to ride. You weren't born knowing how to operate a computer, or drive a car, or cook a meal...you had to try it first in order to find your way. In your career, this is no different.

So, when opportunity comes knocking, and surprises you with it's generosity, don't slam the door and run and hide under the bed. It's what you  actually wanted anyway. Just be careful what you wish for...

Building a New Beginning

I've never built a house. Does a cubbyhouse count? Nup...ok, then.
But after all these years, i am building my first home.

Apart from the obvious stuff associated with owner-building (the huge learning curve of unraveling the mysteries of a different industry), this is a journey like no other. Building is significant in so many ways to our life's journey. It's a commitment of  the self, the soul, and the security of life. I could draw hundreds of psychological and spiritual parallels with which building a home (and in my case, also a studio) represents, but i wont go on about it, except to say that it's an enlightening experience, and one which stimulates my need to grow immensely.

One thing that's extremely gratifying is being able to get my hands dirty and get stuck into the work. A day spent in the studio editing music is very rewarding, but physically i have little more to show for it than empty coffecups on the studio desk, along with scribbles on a whiteboard and scattered papers...but a day spent digging a trench is real and tangible. And the pile of rocks i have collected is as real as the clay in my boots and the filth in my hair. I can smell the work i've done.

So whilst today i watch the rain come down as i spend the hours amidst the intangible worlds, I'll share with you my gratitude for the new beginning i am helping create. And how humbled i feel next to those with the skills and experience who are sharing this journey with us, and who are helping me to learn how to turn these dreams into a reality.

Sick

Being sick sucks. It bores me, on so many levels, except for it's one major drawcard...the only thing it has going for it....reflection.

When i'm sick, i think about things in a very different way. I consider what i'd REALLY like to be doing, and ask myself questions about what i AM doing. I take time out, doing nothing but nothing, which gives my head some free-thinking time. I imagine a myriad of possibilities, reflect on things i possibily hadn't thought of since the last time i was sick. I value simple things in new ways, and perceive the mundane in a new light.

I've always got momentum, always doing something, brainstorming, planning, making, trying...but when i'm sick, much of that stops. I'm a totally different me. I stand still. i wait. i stall for time. i stare. i simply stop. And sometimes, something wonderful appears...

Different and The Same

I had some feedback from a customer today, who bought 4 CDs, then followed it up with the Feather's Breath CD. Their comment was "the music is all the same music on all the CDs". Well, of course that's not true. Sure, like most artists, i don't deny that much of my music has my trademark sound. But Feather's Breath in itself has no electronic sounds on it AT ALL, is all voice and flutes, and is quite a diversion from my other recordings. But i got to thinking, maybe they're right. Maybe all of my music is the same.

I don't think that's a bad thing. In fact, i have also been critisised by some fans who dislike anything which isn't like my first release, the "Coral sea Dreaming" soundtrack. So what can i do with all of this feedback? I know you can't please all of the people all of the time, and there's always going to be someone who has a strong opinion on which music is better than another, but where do i file this in my head?

The fact is, i really have very little choice in what comes out of me. Yeah, i might start off with some kind of concept, or an idea, but when it comes to the guts of creating music, it all just evolves out of where i'm at at the time. Sometimes that's in familiar territory, sometimes in unchartered waters, but it all has one thing in common...it comes from me.

I was looking at an older painting done by the very talented artist Karin Taylor this morning, and i knew it was hers just by looking at it. It's very different from her current work, some 8 years later, but there's a familiarity about it that i recognise. I'm sure i could analyse it to find the elements that make it familiar, but it comes from her, so it is a part of her. In fact i'm glad there is a familiarity to it. It made me immediately warm to the painting, because i enjoy her work.

So, I'm comfortable for some people to find my music similar, and happy also for other people to find my music somewhat eclectic. It's going to be very interesting to hear what others have to say when i begin releasing music in completely different genres. I'm sure, like anything, there will be those who'll be very supportive, and those who'll be critical, but one thing is for sure. It's all a part of who I am, and what i create.

Messy Messy World

I create mess.
In fact, it's possible the biggest talent i have. That's how good i am at it.
I don't like mess. I don't like living with it, seeing it, or negotiating my way around it, but i'm surrounded by it.

I leave stuff lying around to remind me to do stuff. I leave countless things on my desk, on the floor, in piles, on boxes, in doorways, on benches... each of which is a reminder to attend to something. The problem is that after a while, i just look over it, and dont attend to many of those things at all. Then i get sick of the mess.

I'm also a bit of a hoarder. I hang on to things for many reasons, just like my mother. You see, it might be useful one day, it would be a shame to just throw it away...what a waste. The kids might use that. I'm going to fix that thingamebob one day, and that'll be just the thing. This is encouraged by my strong concerns for the environment, and being mindful of waste. BUT it adds to my mess.

I figure what i really need is a really big white board and keep lists instead of stuff on my desks and benchspaces. I also need some super storage, where i can sort my stuff into some kind of system, and not boxes.

Don't get me wrong. I do have some kind of order, of sorts. All my fabric lives in a fabric cupboard now, and whilst my office and stock room are in the same space, i have no choice but to have SOME kind of order. And i like tidy and neat. When i clean up the space, it begins to feel sacred. It feels new and uncluttered, which makes my head feel fresh. I even have new thoughts, to go with the new space.

Living in a house the size of a shoe box has been challenging, so i'm curious as to how my habits will change when i have space in the near future. But in the meantime, i really do need to make the most of what i have, clean up, and turn my mess into open spaces, where my creativity can be let loose without clambering into a teetering stack of boxes

Artists Boxed

I was interviewed today in a government artist survey.
As i have come to be accustomed to, i didn't quite fit into their boxes. The questions weren't adequate in their scope, and so i found myself and the interviewer (who, luckily for me, had some experience in understanding the music business) squeezing my work, my art, and myself into the various boxes of the questionaire.

It did get me thinking, though. It got me thinking about where i've come from, how i got here, and how hard i've worked to create my career. I thought about the choices i've made personally to fullfill a desire to persure my goals and my creations. i don't consider that i've made persoanl sacrifices, because i've always prefered to be poor and happy working on my projects than finacially seccure and hating my job. But i realise that i have made personal sacrifices, even though i kept a smile on my face.

Artists get used to not fitting in. We generally don't fit in to the usual boxes, and our works are often overlooked as being indulgent or unnecessary. Yet any historian will tell you that it's the art of all cultures that truly reflects society. Art, in all it's forms, brings people together. It's the music we listen to, the stuff we watch on television,  the shape of  your coffee mug and the design on your tshirt...everything that came from an idea is a part of the creative stream of our time. Art is an integrated medium, whether we want to believe it on not.

So next time you see that small scultpure hanging on the wall of your local cafe, bear in mind that the next inventer to see that could be sparked to create something that future generations can't do without in their day-to-day lives. That CD that you're listening to, might create a fashion revolution, inspiring a designer to draw to the music, and create something extraordinary, and that photograph in that magazine, could invoke a new way , a better way of dealing with climate change.

So, whilst we will never fit into any of the obvious boxes, consider us an all-inclusive package, right where your sitting, right now.

Make more stuff

I wish i would draw more.
I love to draw. I drew a lot as a kid. But i rarely do it now. I know other people who draw all the time, and they inspire me to draw more. But i've let it go. Now, i need to schedule in drawing time to my week. That's ok. It's better than not drawing at all. And when my kids first saw me draw, they were flabbergasted, immediately gathering paper and pencils to share the experience. Now, i WILL draw more.

I want to sew more. Sewing frustrates me, because i don't like following the rules. My mother used to sew a LOT. She is an awesome seamstress, probably because she had to make all of her clothes when she was a kid. But she follows the rules. She's pedantic and finicky with it. I'm haphazard, and go off on tangents. But i want to find a place in my life for sewing. She taught me how to sew. I don't want to loose anything she's taught me. Sewing is beautiful.

I've never had my own garden, one that i totally own. But soon i will. I want to fill it with plants that provide something, that contribute. Food, medicine, shelter....a plant for a purpose. But i want them to eventually be self-sufficient, surviving and contributing simply because they exist. I look forward to my garden.

The Artistic Solar System

The world of creativity isn’t limited to one artform or another. It’s a rich reality of possibilities, and the artist is at the centre of this giant universe, like the sun in a solar system. Sometimes this reality seems still, dark, and unending, but swiftly it can change, errupting into a passionate outburst of color and shape, momentum and life. this is the place where the artist resides, where anything is possible, and silence is merely the calm before the storm

What is Success?

The topic of success comes up time and again for artists. Everyone seems to have an opinion as to how successful you are, which things are more successful than others, and how much success is enough. But what is SUCCESS? Is it merely the freedom to allow yourself to practice your art?

I think we all agree that there are several sides to being successful. The public side (which doesn't reflect how clever, talented, or wonderful you are) is about media accolades more than anything else, at least in our contemporary world. It's about being popular more than anything, and to some, being popular and well-known is a form of success. People who are not artists often view this as a fundamental perception of success. If you make it to a prime time TV show, you finally have success. For an artists, it can be frustrating for Auntie Flo to belittle your work because you "haven't been on TV yet, not like so-and-so". It's important to keep in mind that being famous isn't being successful, and though many people believe otherwise, this is just a marketing and media ploy to manipulate the public to only take seriously what they control.

Let's take it back a bit and get a bit more personal with the artist. Sometimes works take months, even years to complete. Heart and soul, sweat and tears can be poured into a work of art, often in an isolated environment, where there is a whole introspective monologue going on inside the artists head. The fact that one can complete an artwork is a HUGE success. With so much complexity the artist has in their lives, it's an extraordinary thing, which deserves every accolade.

Making something public can be difficult, but many artists eventually find a way, and the stage is set for a "successful" public perusal, which often includes critiques or reviews of ones work. A bad review? A scathing attack? Do these quash success? No. Let me tell you something about critics and reviewers; they embellish, they create their own story, they are nothing more than a member of the public with a single personal opinion which they must justify in order to satisfy their own audience. A review is rarely about the art, but unfortunately often about the art critic, more's the pity.

What about money? Well, financial success is more about business than art. It really doesn't reflect whether or not something is successful. It's about finding a paying public in a small niche' market. It's about running a business effectively where your customer comes first, providing art specifically for them, and constantly evaluating supply and demand. Sure, an artist can make a squillion dollars, but it doesn't make them successful artists. They have just run or had access to a successful business.

So what is success? Success is really in the eyes of the beholder. If i've managed to get through some of my tasks for the day, i consider i've had a successful day. If i've sold 1 or 10 or even 100 CDs in a day, i consider it a successful day. If i have written a snippet of a new piece of music, had an inspiring thought, made a decision, done a good deed for the day, my day has been a success. I consider myself a successful person, not because i've been on prime time TV, or had great reviews, or sell my works, but because i live a successful life. Isn't that real success?